It’s sad and depressing when you make a huge life decision based off of information you are given by others and then less than a year later the bottle is uncorked and everything you thought is no longer.
The feelings you are left with are hurt, betrayal, anger, disappointment, frustration, and in the end the last thing you want to think about is: “What the hell do I do now?” Even more difficult than all of that is when the answer you get in return is: Nothing.
In the end i feel as if the only option I have left is to deal with it, suck it up, accept it for what it is and live each day knowing that the people you thought were on your side are just weak and not willing to go the distance to say what they mean and do what they say. There are the myriad of beautiful speeches extolling their vision and the things they want to see and do, but in the end the are not willing to take the struggle on and be true to that vision. The easy way seems to be the only way and the strength you thought existed in this person is just a front for the fear that holds them back from their true potential.
The weak will never inherit the earth (that’s meek..) and in the end they will only support the things that allow them to continue to live in their safe and comfy illusions.
I get the fact that change is difficult. I’ve been there. held fast by fear and the ‘what if’ of a situation, but in the end what is life, if it is not change and growth? Maybe the truth of the fact is that some of us are stronger than others and our experiences in life allow us to accept change and see the benefits without being paralyzed by the fear that others see as all-consuming.
There is no answer to find, no solution to divine from all of this. In the end all I can do is walk forward and see what happens. In the end I have made it this far and giving up is never a real option. I am just faced with the repercussions of others and trying not to change the way I treat them regardless of their choices. I do what I do because I love it and it is a part of who I am. If others do not see this the same way then this is their issue to deal with. There is only so much I can do for them.
Not that that makes it any easier.