You know the old saying, “Home is where the heart is.”? Well, it has been co-opted and rewritten for many other concepts and ideas, and after everything that has happened over the past… 4 years… I never thought I would be saying this, but we ARE home. I’ve struggled in the previous months to understand everything that has happened and in truth I am not closed to an answer than i was on day one, but what i have come to know, realize, and accept, is that this is home. Arizona is home for myself and my family. I won’t go into any go the “Should we have left?” or “What would have happened if we had not left?” Those are irrelevant at this point. We have family here. We have friends here. We have support here.
The interesting thing about all of this is, we lived in Oregon for two years. We went to work, the kids went to school, we went to church, all for varying degrees of time while we were there, but the reality that has hit me the hardest in all of this is, THAT was not home. And, really, not for lack of trying… It may have been an extended visit. A temporary residence. Even a “learning adventure.” And in all truth it was not ALL bad. I learned a lot about who i am, Rach learned about herself and those are good things. We learned a lot about ourselves together, and all of this may not have happened if we had not made the transition to Oregon. But tonight, as I put the kids to bed and said goodnight, it became abundantly clear to me that “We are home.” This apartment that we have been in for a week or so, feels more like home than a house we lived in for 2 years… And I am glad for this, proud of this, proud of us for this, mores than I think I have been in a long time.